don't let your dirty dishes define your relationship

War is hell, especially when you share a bathroom with them


Don’t let your dirty dishes define your relationship. 

“This year things are going to be different. We’re going to all pull our weight. We’re only going to drink on the weekends and never run out of toilet paper.”  There is a beautiful glimmer of hope that surrounds a new roommate situation. Too often that promise of a tranquil home slowly turns into the situation that many of us know too well: the roommate war zone.

There’s that pot that has been “soaking” for maybe a week now, a slew of passive aggressive post-it notes and the ever delicate balancing game of “how much trash can I stack on the can before it falls.” I think my personal record was well over a foot before I caved and took it out.

Whether you live with your besties or the least sketchy person you could find on Craigslist, it’s all fun and games until someone got drunk and ate your leftovers.

They should have made room in the high school curriculum on how to be a good roommate. It’s a class I certainly did not take. My late night post-bar meals have often left our kitchen atrocious, I have to be reminded to put pants on when we have a guest and must take credit for a good percentage of the post-it notes.

I live with three other women, and not one of us is perfect. Imagine a small house with four very big personalities and only one bathroom. Patience gets tested, especially when your roommate is taking a shower and you really, really have to pee.

My mind wanders to a wonderful dream of having a place to myself where I don’t have to put my name on my groceries and have the freedom to recklessly watch crappy TLC shows without judgement. The grass is always greener on the other side, I just happen to not be able to pay the utilities by myself on that side.

As I stand proudly with all my medals from war, I realize just how pointless the entire thing is. When we lower our weapons, it becomes clear why we chose to live together in the first place. We saw something in each other that said, “yeah, I could totally see you at your worst and love you nonetheless,” and the biggest pile of dirty dishes in the world wouldn’t change that. Maybe its just that we got so caught up in the “war” that we never realized that we had been on the greener side of the entire time.

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